Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Randomize
