my soul wont recognize me after tonight
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
