party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Michael Bay diarrhea
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
