everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Holy shit dude........stairs
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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