Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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