The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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