Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
