I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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