Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
The power of my boobs compel you
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
