Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
