I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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