Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
