This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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