you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
