Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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