He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
