Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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