Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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