who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
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