YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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