he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
