Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
