Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize