He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
