dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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