It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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