Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
