how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
