too bad you live with your parents still
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
