if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I just googled if crying burns calories
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I need a burrito and a hug.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
