We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
