i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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