I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just want nice things and good sex
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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