Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
His hands were made for my vagina.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
