i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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