i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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