OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
