TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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