and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I have fence marks all over my body
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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