I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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