Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
My balls are so social today.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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