So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
found the other keg... it's in the tree
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
