Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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