U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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