Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
