you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
