...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Sorry about my life...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
