She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
My pussy is not your playground.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
