If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
