hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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