So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
