if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
