Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
he fucked my hip out of place.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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