ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
