Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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