I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
