Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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