I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize