For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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