Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
