Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
