Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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