i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
