I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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