Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
