1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I am puke
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
