My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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