He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
