I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
