also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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