watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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