Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize