Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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