I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
